I Will Trust In Him...No, Wait...Ok, I Will...No...

This week my wife Lori took our two boys to the mall to get their hair cut. While she was there she noticed there was some police activity going on around the mall so she called me to check and see if the news was reporting on what was going on. The news was indeed reporting on the matter. The first report said a gunman had shot a lady in the parking lot and the suspect was still at large. Naturally, I immediately got on the phone to call my wife to tell her what was going on and to not get out of the car and to come home. Unfortunately, there was no answer. I called again and still no answer. I proceeded to call what seemed like a dozen times in the span of probably 5 minutes only to get her voice-mail each time.

Have you ever been in that kind of spot? That state of unknowing. The mind can play some crazy tricks on you can't it? I remember sitting there thinking ok, she has her phone in her purse and doesn't hear it. Immediately fear spoke louder and said "there's a crazy lunatic on the loose and my wife and kids are walking through the parking lot and...." You get the picture. It was like a see-saw battle back and forth. Trusting that they were safe and then fearing they were not. That went on a half a dozen times a minute until finally I heard from her. She, oblivious to the fact that a lady had been shot literally a few hundred feet from where she parked, was in the mall safe and sound.

That's the way it normally plays out doesn't it. While we sit there wringing our hands, in the end there was really no need to sit there wringing our hands. We all know that worrying never changes the outcome yet, we all do it sometimes. To be honest, it all comes down to a trust issue. When we give into fear and worry, it is the result of our lack of trust in God's ability to provide a favorable outcome. You know it as well as I do that when everything is going smooth, it's a piece of cake to trust God. Throw a little uncertainty into the mix and suddenly that trust can begin to become a little shaky. The truth is that we become really good at trusting ourselves and our ability to fix things that need to be fixed or control things we can control. It's those moments when things are out of our hands. Its moments when we can't fix something or can't control it that we start to sweat a little bit. Do you catch what I'm saying? We actually trust ourselves sometimes more than we trust God.

Scripture tells us things like, "trust in the Lord with all of your heart..." Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him..." "He is a shield to all who trust Him..." and "But He who trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him..." Yet, we often struggle to really trust Him. We trust in ourselves, our abilities, our money, our jobs, our government, and lots of other things. All of which are limited, imperfect, unstable, and ever changing. God on the other hand, is unlimited, completely perfect, perfectly stable, and never changing. He can be trusted. He can be trusted with your past, your present, and your future. He can be trusted when you travel, when you're at home, when you're sleeping, and when you're awake. He can be trusted when the doctor runs out of options, when your spouse runs out the door, and when your child makes the wrong turn in life. He can be trusted when the economy tanks, your bank account hits zero, and the company you've given your life to lays you off. And yes, He can be trusted when your wife and kids go to the mall at the same time a lunatic is running around shooting people with a gun.

The Longest Night Of My Life

Living in southeast Texas most of my life, I have dealt with severe thunderstorms, the threat of tornadoes, hail storms, and tropical storms pretty regular. Even an occasional hurricane from time to time, but nothing I’ve ever been through compared to Ike. Now, living about 90 miles from the coast we expected to get hammered a bit, but I really didn’t expect to get hit as hard as we did.

As the storm arrived, my two boys were out cold, totally oblivious to what was going on. I on the other hand was just beginning my sleepless nighttime adventure. Now, the high winds would not have been all that big of a deal, had our house not been surrounded by 75-85 foot pine trees. When I say surrounded, that’s exactly what I mean, they are on each and every side of the house. Although Ike showed up at night, there was still just enough light to be able to see the tops of these trees being tossed by Ike’s hurricane force winds. I don’t know if you have ever seen pine trees swaying in the wind, but at 40-50 mph they look like they could snap. Now, picture 75+ mph sustained winds with 100+ wind gusts and that’s what we were watching. Those pine trees appeared to be made out of elastic, swaying and bending to a point that seemed well beyond their limit.

Of course, there was really nothing I could do but pray. And perhaps that’s the very thing that I struggle with at times. Not so much praying, I pray a lot. But it’s the not being in control that I struggle with. I mean, I like it when I can fix things and solve problems. I like it when I can protect my family, and provide for them. I like it when I am at a point where I can trust my ability to get done what needs to get done. But, here I was unable to do any of that. It would have been great if I could have pulled off a “Jesus calming of the storm” moment, but I couldn’t. Here I sat, watching my two boys and my wife and realizing it was all out of my hands. I had reached my limit to protect them and take care of them. I was in a position where I had to totally rely on my Heavenly Father to take care of us. Perhaps you can relate. It’s like when your little one becomes sick and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. If you could you would take the sickness on yourself rather than watch them have to deal with it. Or, how about those times when you are watching a loved one die and there is nothing you can do in your power to change the situation. If you are at all like me, you feel powerless in those moments. You have all this ability to do so many things but none of it does you any good when it comes to moments like these.

I’ve discovered throughout the course of my life, that it is in these moments that we find there is One who can be trusted when our ability has run its course. One who can be trusted to carry the weight that we so desperately try to carry, but were never designed to carry. It’s moments like these that God is waiting in the wings for us to release to him the role and responsibility of being God that we so often try to step into. Its in these moments where he proves to us that he does a much better job at being God than we do. When Ike rolled into town, he was much bigger than me. I couldn’t stop him, slow him down, or weaken him. His fury came through at full throttle and I had to release the role of protector of my family into the hands of my Heavenly Father. And just like always, He pulled through. As we drove through our neighborhood to check out the post-storm damage, there are literally hundreds of trees down. Homes, and cars are damaged, but it didn’t appear at first glance that anybody had been seriously injured. As for our pine trees, they are still standing, a testimony of a God who can be trusted.

Trust: The Key To Overcoming Fear

A dark room, noises in the night, the sound of thunder, and the creature that lives under the bed are just some of the things little ones fear. None of which makes any sense. You can protect your children by carefully monitoring what they watch on TV, but somewhere, somehow, someway they all face some kind of fear at one time or another. For some it requires little more than a caring, reassuring talk from Mom or Dad while others really struggle to overcome their fears. Whatever the case, fear can dominate and cripple a child whenever it is present.

Over the past few years I've had the opportunity to walk both my boys through several of these "fear" moments. And as I mentioned earlier, most of the time it makes no sense. For instance the simple flipping of a switch to turn off a light and suddenly a room becomes a scary place. Or, you mix that dark room with a tree branch rubbing against the window and now that room is an unbearable place to be. See, what I mean, it makes no sense.

If you are a parent I'm sure you've had to deal with some crazy fears like this from time to time. Or, perhaps when you were a child you had your own fears you had to walk through. What is so ridiculous about this whole fear thing is that as we get older, it never really stops. The fears just change. And just like with those little ones, they can be dominating and crippling. Think about it. You get a sharp pain and your chest and what instantly shoots through your mind? It could be nothing more than a muscle spasm, heart burn, or gas, but why is it we often fear the worst? Or, how about when that phone rings at 3am? Or, when you hear economists on the news proclaiming how bad everything is and how it's only going to get worse?

There are millions of different ways fear manifests but often times, just like our little ones, it makes no sense. I think that fear often shows up when we are not in control. A child is scared of the dark because he can't see. He has to trust that nothing is happening even though he can't see to make sure. He fears the noises at night because he can't see what's making them and his mind begins to imagine all kinds of creatures that could make those sounds. We as adults fear the struggling economy because we can't do anything to change it. We fear that sharp pain in our chest because if it is indeed a heart attack, we can't fix it ourselves. Let's face it when we are not in control, it's not a comfortable place for us. We love it when we can fix things and handle things on our own, but when it comes to completely, totally relying on God we get a little uneasy at times.

What is so crazy is that we are talking about the Creator of the universe here. Trust me, he is much better at being in control than we are. We need to learn to trust the fact that when things are beyond our control, that they are never beyond him. When you mix that with the knowledge that He truly loves us, and wants the absolute best for us, then and only then, will we begin to live a life free of fear. It all comes down to trust. And the whole idea of trust means you have to rely on someone or something else. Throughout my life men I have trusted have failed me, and stuff I've put my trust in has failed me. But, through the years I've learned that God can be trusted.

God Is Near

Once again, my children have taught me a powerful spiritual truth. One day last week, I was on the treadmill and my wife was about to take a shower. She was going to leave our two boys in the living room watching TV while she went upstairs to take her shower. She explained to our 5 year old that I was in the next room if he needed anything and headed upstairs confident everything would be fine. Little did she know, how crazy things were going to get in only about 5 minutes.

Just so you get a good picture of how everything was set up, the boys were in the living room and I was literally just a few feet away. All my son had to do in order to see me was walk around the corner. We have a couple of infant gates set up in order to keep our little one from wandering up the stairs. So, basically the boys had no way of getting upstairs to their mother. If they needed anything though I was right there. Now, when I am on the treadmill I usually listen to my Ipod, and this day was no different. So, I'm working out and my wife is in the shower and neither of us can hear what is going on with our boys. Somewhere, within the 10 minutes I was finishing up on the treadmill and my wife was in the shower, our 5 year old hit panic mode. Either he had forgotten I was in the other room, or hadn't been listening when his mother told him, but he looked around and didn't see any adults. He got startled and tried to go upstairs, only to find the infant gates standing in his way. As anyone does when they are in panic mode, all reason went out the window. Apparently, he proceeds to run out the back door and then runs around the house to the front door in an attempt to get into the house that way so he can go upstairs. The front door, which stays locked pretty much all the time, is locked and he is unable to get in the house. To make matters worse, our 20 month old followed right behind him since he left the back door wide open.

They couldn't have been out there more than a few minutes when my wife gets out of the shower and hears screaming and someone banging on the door. She runs down stairs to find our two boys on the front porch completely hysterical. Meanwhile, Dad is finishing up on the treadmill and is oblivious to the whole thing. Thank God, they were both on the porch when my wife found them and not in the middle of the street or something worse.

After breathing a huge sigh of relief, God showed me something with the whole thing. Throughout our life, there are times when fear can creep in. It can hit us from any number of directions. Finances, marriage, career, health, future, you name it, fear can be generated from any of them. And when fear comes, there are times when our tendency may be to hit the panic button. You know those times when you can't see how to fix it. You find yourself at whits end, and all hope is lost. Its moments like this, when like my son, all reason flies out the window and can give way to some pretty crazy decisions on our part.

Here's my point to the whole thing. In the middle of it all, God is near. Just like in my sons' story, where I was right there, our heavenly Father is right by our side. Of course, he doesn't have an Ipod on and he isn't oblivious to what's happening, but the point is, he is there with us regardless of whether we feel him, see him, or hear him. God is there, and in order to find comfort in those crazy times, we simply have to run to him. We have to learn to find him in the middle of it all. Sometimes that may seem difficult when we find ourselves surrounded by all life's stuff, but trust me the more we do it, the easier it gets. God is our refuge, our peace, our defender, and our ever present help in time of trouble. So, when life hits hard, look for him. Trust me, God is near.