The Longest Night Of My Life

Living in southeast Texas most of my life, I have dealt with severe thunderstorms, the threat of tornadoes, hail storms, and tropical storms pretty regular. Even an occasional hurricane from time to time, but nothing I’ve ever been through compared to Ike. Now, living about 90 miles from the coast we expected to get hammered a bit, but I really didn’t expect to get hit as hard as we did.

As the storm arrived, my two boys were out cold, totally oblivious to what was going on. I on the other hand was just beginning my sleepless nighttime adventure. Now, the high winds would not have been all that big of a deal, had our house not been surrounded by 75-85 foot pine trees. When I say surrounded, that’s exactly what I mean, they are on each and every side of the house. Although Ike showed up at night, there was still just enough light to be able to see the tops of these trees being tossed by Ike’s hurricane force winds. I don’t know if you have ever seen pine trees swaying in the wind, but at 40-50 mph they look like they could snap. Now, picture 75+ mph sustained winds with 100+ wind gusts and that’s what we were watching. Those pine trees appeared to be made out of elastic, swaying and bending to a point that seemed well beyond their limit.

Of course, there was really nothing I could do but pray. And perhaps that’s the very thing that I struggle with at times. Not so much praying, I pray a lot. But it’s the not being in control that I struggle with. I mean, I like it when I can fix things and solve problems. I like it when I can protect my family, and provide for them. I like it when I am at a point where I can trust my ability to get done what needs to get done. But, here I was unable to do any of that. It would have been great if I could have pulled off a “Jesus calming of the storm” moment, but I couldn’t. Here I sat, watching my two boys and my wife and realizing it was all out of my hands. I had reached my limit to protect them and take care of them. I was in a position where I had to totally rely on my Heavenly Father to take care of us. Perhaps you can relate. It’s like when your little one becomes sick and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. If you could you would take the sickness on yourself rather than watch them have to deal with it. Or, how about those times when you are watching a loved one die and there is nothing you can do in your power to change the situation. If you are at all like me, you feel powerless in those moments. You have all this ability to do so many things but none of it does you any good when it comes to moments like these.

I’ve discovered throughout the course of my life, that it is in these moments that we find there is One who can be trusted when our ability has run its course. One who can be trusted to carry the weight that we so desperately try to carry, but were never designed to carry. It’s moments like these that God is waiting in the wings for us to release to him the role and responsibility of being God that we so often try to step into. Its in these moments where he proves to us that he does a much better job at being God than we do. When Ike rolled into town, he was much bigger than me. I couldn’t stop him, slow him down, or weaken him. His fury came through at full throttle and I had to release the role of protector of my family into the hands of my Heavenly Father. And just like always, He pulled through. As we drove through our neighborhood to check out the post-storm damage, there are literally hundreds of trees down. Homes, and cars are damaged, but it didn’t appear at first glance that anybody had been seriously injured. As for our pine trees, they are still standing, a testimony of a God who can be trusted.

I Caught A Thief

While fishing the other day with my family I came across what I thought was an extremely cunning fish. Now, I’m not a great fisherman by any stretch of the imagination, but generally if I get a nibble or two I can hook the fish. It may take me a worm or two, but not too many fish once they’ve made their presence known escape my hook. This one was different though. I’d bait the hook, he’d steal the worm. I’d bait it again, and he’d steal it again. Time after time this was the way it went. Determined to catch him though, I kept after it. Not sure how long I was at it, but I know I baited that hook at least 6 times. I knew he must have been a small one, but that manly, man thing in me was determined not to be outdone by this fish. Then all of a sudden, I did it. I hooked him and as I reeled him in he seemed a bit bigger than I thought he would be. As he reached the surface of the water, I realized he wasn’t a fish at all. The worm thief was a turtle. My kids thought it was awesome and I was impressed by my skill and persistence at catching the big guy. Still, he was not at all what I thought he was and had I known it was a turtle I wouldn’t have wasted my time and worms on him.

Throughout our life, there are times when just like this turtle, we encounter a thief. I know there are some things that we bring on ourselves through lack of planning, lack of knowledge, and lack of wisdom. But, its important to note that we do have an enemy and there are times when he is at work and we don’t know it. We are trucking along through life and we get hammered by this thing and that thing. Our finances take a hit, our marriage takes a hit, our friendships take a hit, our job takes a hit. We do everything right and still seem to be getting it from every direction. If we are not careful, we’ll blame others, or even worse blame God.

Scripture tells us that our enemy is not flesh and blood. It’s the devil not others. Scripture also tells us that our enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. When we realize what our enemy’s job description is, it goes along way in determining who’s at the bottom of this kind of stuff in our lives. Once we know who’s at the bottom of it, it makes it easier to deal with the real problem. Once, I discovered it was a turtle stealing my bait, I didn’t throw any more out there for him to steal. In the same way, when we discover the enemy at work in our life, we don’t allow him to continue. Using the Word of God and prayer, we take the fight to him and watch him tuck tail and run. If we need to change the way we are doing something, we do it. If need be, we get some brothers and sisters in the faith to stand with us. The point is this, we identify the thief and then do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn’t continue.

Of course, with the turtle I was humane. I removed the hook and put him back in the water. With our enemy though, there is no need to be humane. Once you get him on the hook, finish him off!

Lessons From A Belly Button

A little over 2 years ago, my wife gave birth to our second child, a bouncing baby boy. On the day we were set to take him home from the hospital, I had taken my then 3 year old son down to the car to get something. On our way across the parking lot he made a statement that worried me at first. "Dad, I don't want to take the new baby home with us!" Assuming that he was just having a bit of a struggle with the idea of sharing his mom and dad with his new brother, I instantly began searching the depths of my intellect for the right words to say to help him overcome this hurdle. Having found nothing profound with which to respond, I responded by saying, "Why?" To which my toddler answered, "Because, his belly button is really gross!"

Naturally, I was relieved that is was only a "belly button" issue and he wasn't feeling threatened by his new baby brother. I was pretty sure that I could help him come to terms with this and everything would be ok. Needless to say, we brought our little one home with us and in just a few days our toddler was elated when the gross belly button fell off. As I sit here thinking about that story, it seems so funny to me that nobody has to teach us to be uncomfortable with others who aren't like us. It comes naturally. I remember growing up as a kid and seeing people without arms or legs and I found myself fighting the urge to stare. Let's face it, my toddler wasn't acting all that different than we adults do at times. His issue was with a different looking belly button, but we struggle with different tones of skin sometime, or different genders, or different political philosophies, or different theological beliefs. Let's face it, sexism, racism, and other forms of prejudice don't get near as much energy from little ones as it does from us adults.

Truth is in this year's presidential election, we all know that there will be some who will not vote for Obama simply because of his skin color, while on the other hand there will be those who vote for him simply because of his skin color. At the same time, there will be those who won't vote for John McCain simply because his running mate is a woman, while there will be those who will vote for him just because he has a woman on the ticket. Let's go even deeper. There will be those who won't vote for McCain because he's too old, while there are those who won't vote for Obama because he's too young. It's crazy isn't it? But, we all know its true.

I've lived in the Bible-Belt my whole life and grew up in a "full-gospel, spirit-filled" denomination. Of course, that denomination was a step above all the rest. At least that's the way we felt. Then I left that denomination and found a non-denominational, charismatic church and realized that I was in error all those years and now had found the type of church that stood above the rest. Yep, we even do it in church don't we. We elevate ourselves and those institutions we are a part of and we look down at those who aren't like us. We often struggle with the fact that people don't share our views, opinions, and beliefs. So much so, we have difficulty connecting and interacting with them.

God's desire is that we walk in unity with one another. Jesus prayed and asked the Father to make us one. He also said that the world would know that we are his disciples by the love we have for one another. For years, I was so little in my thinking as to apply this only to my local congregation and denominational affiliation. I had no concept of the global body of Christ. I struggled with the idea of how I could ever walk in unity with the Methodists, and Baptists, and Catholics, and Pentecostals, and all the other denominations and independents.

I found the key though and here it is. You can not focus on the things that make you different. When we brought our newborn infant home, he was constantly clothed and wrapped up. Because of that our toddler could not see the gross belly button, which made it easy for him to accept his little brother. He held him, he kissed him, and absolutely adored him. It was only those moments during diaper changes or bath times that the thing he struggled with was even visible. As he connected with his little brother the gross belly button became lesser and lesser of an issue. Here's my point, when we choose not to focus on those things that separate us, we are quick to find the things that bring us together.

We truly have to get to the point where we no longer care if the church down the street sings out of hymnals or breaks into a 30 minute spontaneous worship tune. We have to come to the place where we no longer care if some raise their hands in worship or have no worship at all. We can no longer allow things like "once saved always saved", "falling from grace", "tongues", eschatology, or style of worship drive a wedge between us. When we choose to connect despite our differences we'll find that in the grand scheme of things our differences don't really amount to much.

I've discovered on my journey that my theology is not what identifies me. Scripture tells us that we are complete in Christ. My identity is found in Him alone. Not in theology, doctrine, church affiliation, or worship style. I know what I believe, I know in whom I believe, and those who hold a different belief or interpretation in no way threaten that. When Christ is at the center then He trumps everything and anything that we don't see eye to eye on. I think that when we understand that, it makes it alot easier to love others the way God intended for us to love them. Let's face it, if we can't love our brothers and sisters in the faith, how are we to love those on the outside? Think about it, if we can't love someone who differs with us on the ministry of the Holy Spirit, how can we ever love those who not only disagree with our theology and worship style but our belief in the God who's the very foundation on which we live?

I'm happy to say that our two boys are connected in a way that only brothers can connect. Sure, the gross belly button is a thing of the past but the two are as different as night and day. From the outside looking in, I can see all the things that make them different, but to them it just doesn't seem to matter. It's as if they can't see them. Or, maybe it's just that they choose not to focus on them.

Thoughts From A First-Time Kindergarten Dad

I dropped my oldest son off today for his first day of kindergarten. And no, I'm not going to cry or get emotional. It's just hard to believe this day is already here. My wife and I opted to wait until he was 5 instead of sending him off to K-4, but the extra year still wasn't long enough. I've been fortunate to work a great deal out of the home over the course of the last 5 years and because of that, I've really been able to be a big part of my son's life. We've walked through a lot of stuff together, had many father/son talks, and whipped a lot of little boy fears together. I've found myself answerless on the end of way too many questions from left field. Questions like: "Where's Heaven?" "What does God look like?" "What Makes A Magnet, Magnetic?" "How Old Do You Get In Heaven?" It's been awesome and I am truly thankful to have been able to spend so much time with him during his early years.

I know, I'll still have those moments and going to kindergarten isn't the same as going off to college or getting married and moving away. But, here's the point, for the first time in over 5 years, my son is not in the other room, or in the backyard, or down the street at his aunt's house. For over 6 hours, (6 hours and 45 minutes to be exact), he'll be in the care of someone we don't really know.

He'll be fine, and that's not really a concern. Actually, I don't think there is any real concern. I know that a lot of parents have issues with fear, but I think I've got a handle on that. I have no apprehension or fear about the school, the teacher, or the kids in his class. I just think it all comes down to the fact that I'll miss him. We're not just father and son you see, we're buddies. And I'm just going to really miss my buddy.

Call it separation anxiety if you want, but that is really what it all comes down to. It's so crazy. Just 5 years ago, he didn't exist and now here I am unable to remember or imagine life without him. Isn't that the way it is though? As we walk through life, there are those relationships that we become a part of and we become so connected that its as if we are one. Perhaps its husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter, sister and brother, or just tight knit friends. Regardless of the roles, relationships can become so intertwined that life apart seems impossible. I'm not talking unhealthy co-dependent relationships here. I'm talking about relationship the way it was meant to be. Relationships where we walk through life together, tackling life's problems, encouraging one another, and helping one another become everything they were created to be. It is these types of relationships that I choose to make myself dependent on, because it is these types of relationships we were created to be a part of.

So many of us choose never to get really close to anyone because of the fear of the wounds that we'll encounter, and the work it'll require. It's true that deep relationships require work and wounds are not only possible but highly probable. Yet scripture tells us, "Woe to the man who is alone." That's because there is life and blessings that you will only experience as a result of walking in deep, healthy relationships with others. How awesome it is when you fall to have those nearby you to pick you up! It is a powerful thing when you are struggling to have those who will stand with you and walk through the battle with you. And how refreshing it is to get an email or a phone call from someone encouraging you when you need it the most.

Relationships are a powerful thing and the rewards far outweigh the costs. Sure, I'll miss my buddy during the day, but I wouldn't trade our dynamic relationship for all the money in the world. I've got another buddy that I met a little over 2 years ago, and I'm working feverishly at developing a dynamic relationship with him as well. After this week I'm thinking of waiting till he's 6 before sending him off to school.

I noticed while I was writing this that the air filter must need to be changed because there seems to be a great deal of dust in the air and it is really affecting my eyes right now. At least, that's the story I'm going with.

Stuck In The Mud?

Have you ever had a car stuck in the mud? A few years ago, when we were building our house, I was backing out of the driveway and I ran the front wheel of my Ford Ranger off the driveway. Not a big deal except it had been raining like crazy and mix that with the fact that we had no grass in the front yet, and what you have is a front yard that resembles a swamp. Needless to say the front driver-side of my truck sunk down until the axle was resting on the cement. Now, 4 cylinder Ford Rangers aren't equipped with the power of a full size truck and the fact that it was a worn out truck firing on only 2 and a half cylinders meant I was in trouble. Needles to say, I failed to maintain a good attitude. But, enough said about that.

I remember giving it gas and the back wheels just spinning on pavement. I did that a few times expecting somehow to get a different result. No such luck. I was stuck and it was going to take some work to get it out. I was going to get wet from the rain, muddy from the mud, and irritated with every passing minute.

Like my truck, I've managed to get my life into some pretty nasty ruts from time to time. If you are human I'm sure you can relate. I'm talking about those seasons in life, when you're not moving forward, and not even moving backward. Those times when you're just stuck. Perhaps, everything was going great and then somehow you found yourself derailed. Life is frustrating, but for some reason, nothing changes and there you sit, day after day, month after month, stuck. The cold hard fact is, nothing will change until you determine to make a change. You'll stay in that continuous cycle of rut dwelling until you decide to do whatever is necessary to get out of it.

With my truck, I had to try a new approach. I had to get out of the truck and come up with a plan to get the front end off the pavement. Had I just stayed in the truck giving it gas, I would still be there today. The reason we stay so long in our "life's" ruts is they require us to change. They require us to grow. And lets face it, we humans aren't always real keen on changing and growing. It's so much easier to stay where we are. We get comfortable with lifestyle choices, behavioral patterns, and the way things are that we resist anything that has the potential to mess up our comfort zone.

The life we live is a long journey, and I am nowhere near my destination yet. But, thank God I am nowhere close to the beginning. I've discovered though, growth along the journey only comes when I allow the Holy Spirit to mess with my comfort level. I only get out of the ruts in life when I determine to do something different. I only get unstuck when I step back, evaluate the depth of the rut, come up with a game plan, and then carry it out.

Are you in a rut right now? Determine to do whatever is necessary to get out of it. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to approach it and then get out and move forward.

Lessons From The Olympians

As I watched the opening ceremonies of this year's summer Olympics, several thoughts were racing through my mind. Will the U.S Men's Basketball team be able to return to their "Dream Team" status? Will Phelps blow away the competition again? Who'll be crowned the world's fastest man and will The Woodlands Laura Wilkinson bring home the gold again? I also thought, China has put together the greatest opening ceremony I have ever seen.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks runners will run, swimmers will swim, and gymnasts will jump, twirl, spin, tumble, and try to stick their landings. Athletes from around the world will stretch their bodies to the limits in an effort to be the best in the world at what they do. They'll mesmerize and amaze us by their talent, skill, and heart. Then, in just two weeks it'll all come to an end.

Think about that. In just two weeks, these athletes who have trained for most of their lives for this moment will find "this moment" over. Let me break it down even more. In just 9 seconds, the "world's fastest man" will be crowned. Just 9 seconds! We'll watch him take off and then kick in the after-burners for the last few strides of that 100 meters. All the other athletes will take a little longer than 9 seconds to win their events, but it'll all be wrapped up within just 2 weeks.

Have you ever stopped to think about the enormous amount of work and preparation that these athletes go through in order to prepare themselves for this one moment. What we see is "the moment." We aren't privy to the process. Those mornings when their bodies don't want to get out of bed. Those days when the don't want to practice. Those meal times when they don't want to eat healthy. Those days they want to punch their coach in the nose. Those times when their bodies are screaming at them to stop. Those moments when the sacrifice of time and the physical and emotional demands of training begins to strain their closest relationships. No, we don't get to see them fight through all of that and we don't get to see all the endless hours of preparation. All we see is "the moment." That moment when all the preparation determines what we all see.

In that way, the Olympics aren't all that different than our lives. What we do in private goes a long way in determining what the world around us sees in our public life. It would be great if these athletes could just show up the day of their event and compete without any preparation but that's not the way it works. If they want to perform at the highest level possible, preparation is a must. So it is with us. Sure, we can put on masks and have the appearance we've got it all together, but at some point we've got to get in the water, or step up to the starting blocks so to speak. Life is challenging and when crisis or challenges hit, the world gets to see the real you. As a believer, if we are constantly allowing the Holy Spirit to develop us, it will be evident in the way we do life. If we are consistently open to allow God to chip away at our character in those quiet and alone times, then our public performance will show evidence of that. That being said it doesn't mean that we aren't ever going to blow it. However, if we are willing to go through this process, our life will reveal growth and it will be evident to all those around us.

Hot, Dry Seasons

Southeast Texas summers can get pretty brutal. With temperatures hovering around 100 and little rain in the forecast, it can seem a little unbearable at times. Any cloud in the sky is a welcome one and one with rain potential is a sight for sore eyes. Usually as we head into August, we begin longing for that first cool front that is at least 6 to 8 weeks away. In the meantime, A/Cs are cranked and pools, and water sprinklers, are used to bring a bit of relief.

Have you ever found yourself in that kind of place spiritually? A dry and weary place with no relief in sight? A place where God seems a million miles away and your prayers seem to be bouncing off the ceiling? You're not alone. We all find ourselves in those seasons from time to time. We all find ourselves at times in a dry season longing for a spiritual deluge from heaven. Day after day goes by and with it comes no rain, and no relief. In the middle of seasons like this we can feel alone, and as if God has abandoned us.

It is so important that we not allow our feelings or our emotions get the best of us here. I love to read the Psalms that David wrote when he found himself in a season like this. They each seem to hold within it a journey from hopelessness to hope. The psalms at some point seem to get so dark and hopeless, but always give way to the hope he has in God. His soul would become vexed, but through it all, when he focussed his eyes on God, the season seemed endurable. In the middle of times like this, we want to give into our feelings and our emotions. Those who live "emotionally driven" lives though will often miss out on some pretty remarkable things that God has in store for us.

Our feelings and emotions can really lead us astray. Let me give you an example. A couple weeks ago I went to see "Journey To The Center Of The Earth." Now, it is nowhere near my top 10 movies of all time, but I saw it in 3D and really got a kick out of it. At one point there are these wicked looking fish that are jumping out of the water and some of them look like they are jumping right into your face. I actually screamed out and moved to avoid one fish that appeared it was going to eat me for lunch. Here's the point. I knew that I was more than a 100 feet away from the screen. I knew there was no way that creatures could fly off the screen and attack me. However, my eyes told me different and my body reacted to how I felt not what I knew.

Here's the truth. In the life of David, there was always hope for him in God. Regardless of how he felt, God was always his strength and refuge in time of need. Sure, things got crazy from time to time, but God was and is always God. That holds true for us as well. When you feel like you're in the middle of one of those dry seasons, remember, God is always there. Regardless of what we feel, he never abandons us. He never, ever leaves us.

Here in southeast Texas, we understand what summer brings with it. We also understand that come late September, we can look forward to the prospect of a cool front carrying with it some long awaited relief. In the same way, during the course of our life, there are seasons that none of us look forward to. But in the middle of those seasons, we must understand, that relief and refreshing are on their way. And regardless of how we feel, God is with us. He's always with us. Look for him. Trust me, He's still God in the middle of that dry season you find yourself in. While you are waiting for that season to come to an end, if you'll search for Him you'll find refreshment in the middle of it all. In Texas we long for that first cool front, but until it gets here, there's always the swimming pool. When you find yourself in a dry season in life, and you're looking forward to that season coming to an end, always remember if you just look for God, finding Him is like that refreshing jump in the pool during the hot summer months.