Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Your Fly Is Open!

A couple years ago I was at an all day event where a particular man was going to be speaking to several hundred people over the course of the day.  Prior to him getting up and speaking I saw him walking across the room and I noticed his fly was wide open for all the world to see.  There were well over a hundred people there at the time and I sat there thinking, "am I the only one that notices this?"
Certainly somebody would tell him, right?  I gave it a couple minutes and nobody approached him.  He was about to grab the mic and address the crowd.  I had a choice to make.  To walk up to a guy I didn't know all that well and let him know his fly was open, or do nothing and watch him stand up in front of everyone with his whitey-tighties peaking through his open fly.

I thought to myself, if I were in his position what would I want someone to do?  I don't care who approached me, I would want someone to let me know my fly was open.  So, I approached him and called him aside and let him know his fly was open.  He chuckled, fixed the issue and put his hand on my shoulder and told me thanks.

Was I the only one who saw his fly open?  Perhaps, but it was so blatantly obvious, I find that hard to believe.  Regardless, nobody wants to have to approach someone and say, "hey, your fly is open!"  Especially someone you don't know or don't know that well.  Isn't it much easier to ignore it?  Isn't it much easier to just let them figure it out on their own?

Several years ago, I got home from church and was changing clothes.  As I pulled off my pants I noticed that my Dockers had a gaping hole in the seat.  This was not a little hole.  Oh no, this sucker was at least 2 feet long.  No, I didn't bust the seat out because I was too fat, although that has happened before.  The seam had come completely unraveled.  I stood there in horror thinking how my entire hind side had been exposed to the world.  There was absolutely no way I made it out of that church service without somebody seeing my white Hanes underwear through the 2 foot gap in my navy Dockers.  I was on the stage, I sat on the front row, trust me there was no way in the world somebody didn't see.  Yet, nobody said anything.  Nobody approached me.

Ok, I get it.  Its a little uncomfortable to approach somebody in regards to something like this.  It's like seeing a booger in someone's nose.  Or being at dinner with someone who has some food related substance on their face.  You don't want to embarrass them, right?  So, you elect to stare at the thing hoping that somehow, someway it will fix itself.  But, it doesn't.  It never does.

The truth of the matter is that thing in us that paralyzes us and prevents us from saying anything is more about us and less about them.  We live in a culture that doesn't really like getting uncomfortable.  It doesn't like conversations that stretch us.  We live in a culture that preaches a message of tolerance and political correctness because nobody really wants to stir the waters.  Nobody really wants to go there.  Its a culture that paints a picture of peace as one that just avoids the uncomfortable feeling of confrontation.  It's a culture that has a perverted view of what real love is.  So, we stare at the "open-fly" because to say something would require us to move into a place that is beyond our comfort zone.

The love that Jesus modeled is so very different than what our culture declares is love.  Jesus, didn't avoid addressing the "open-fly" in our lives.  He didn't stare at the things in our lives that were "issues" hoping they fixed themselves.  His love didn't tolerate our messes in order to maintain a sense of comfort.  He is less interested in hurting our feelings and more interested in dealing with what needs to be dealt with. No, his dealing with our sin is not a condemning, judgmental approach.  His love is kind and gentle, while at the same time confrontational.  His love does not ignore our issues, but addresses them.  Our salvation is not the result of Him sweeping our sin under the rug but the result of Him confronting each and every one of them.  

Loving one another the way Jesus did requires a boldness to speak about things that our culture wants to ignore. Tolerance as our world defines it has no place within the body of Christ.  In the same way  judgement that condemns is not love either.  I did not approach this man and tell him his fly was open in a demeaning or belittling way.  I was discreet, kind, and gentle, yet I still approached him.  All I know is when it comes to my sin, that's exactly how Jesus approaches me.  One last thing, if you ever see my fly open, or a booger hanging out of my nose, or the back seat of my pants split open, for the love of God please approach me!!!                          

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