It seems like just a few days ago I was at the end of my street playing baseball with all my neighborhood friends. It was actually more like 24-25 years ago. Where does the time go? I'll hit 41 this week and I just can't help but think that time has really flown by fast. Scripture tells us that life is like a vapor, its here one moment and gone the next. I can tell you that the first 41 years has felt just like that!
It's sobering to think that half of your life is almost over. I mean lets face it, if I live to be in my 80s, I'm at middle age right now. And if I make it to my 90s, I'll be at middle age in no time. That means half of my life is over or about over. Now, I'm not down, depressed, or having a difficult time with my birthday. I'm just looking back and then trying to get a glimpse into the future.
I long to be someone who makes an enormous impact for the kingdom of God during my stay on this planet. I look back at the first half of my life and I believe I've done some good things for the kingdom of God, but I don't know that I would call it enormous. There have been those moments when I've been kingdom focussed but for the most part I've spent my life being Tim focussed. As I proceed through life though, I feel those moments of kingdom focus are becoming more and more common and I have to say that I believe that's the key. In order to make the kind of impact on this world God longs for us to make we must learn how to be kingdom minded. We have to learn how to spend our lives doing kingdom business rather than trying to build our kingdom.
Its all a process though and we all know that Rome wasn't built in a day. Its a day to day process of learning to die to ourselves and our own desires and asking questions like, "God, what is it that you desire for me?" That's not all that different than the prayer Jesus prayed in the garden just before he was arrested and brutally hung on a cross. Remember it? "Father, not my will, but Yours be done." That's the place I want to be! That place of total surrender, where I have learned to put my desires and wants on hold, and have determined to search the heart of God for His desires.
Ok, so over the next 40 to 50 years or so, I'm going to really work at this and hopefully the second half of life will prove to be more effective for His kingdom.
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